My head feels like it's going to explode. There is no much pressure that it's going to begin to ooze out. I laugh, I smile, and I talk, I talk a lot so it seems like I'm OK. But I'm not, I"m not okay. And if this is what you felt many years ago, I am so sorry because the torment is unbearable. Maybe it's just me, my way of thinking, my personality, or my mental issues but I can't take it. I have never in my life felt so unhappy that way I feel now. I don't know whether to run or just sleep. I don't want to feel anything anymore.
I wish I had someone I could pour my heart out to but I don't. I don't think anyone has that one person because it truly is a burden to hear the pain of another. We are understanding human beings. We are arrogant and selfish, myself included. Humans are hateful creatures. And I know I am generalizing but just how I feel. Maybe it's Americans, maybe people from other countries are more understanding to their fellow human being's pain. Whatever it is, we are all alone in this great big planet we call home.
Almost six years ago when all this began friends would tell me, "Time will heal" here I am still waiting on time to heal because my wounds are still open. The person who is supposed to help close the wounds isn't available to operate. What happens now? What happens when there is no one there to help close the wound, it gets infected. Infections cause more pain than the actual wound. So this where I am at almost six years later with an open infected wound. And see no sign of relief.
Marisol
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