Today I realized one of the reason I am so depressed. I don't know who I am.I don't think I have ever known. Growing up I was the one my mom depended on to take care of my younger sister and nephew. Around my friends I tend to be the quiet one and when I did participate I was the weird one. To my older sisters I was the baby sister and I was the spoiled one. My sister's friends call me the brat. Then I got married and I became Hector's wife and I was there to support his needs and wants. My favorite one was Nicole and Tati's mom although I went from Mommy to Mom very quick. What was the hardest for me was the year Hector and I were separated, I was the left one, the one everyone felt sorry for, the one fighting for something that no one believed in but me. During that time I totally lost myself.
I often wonder how others see me. I've been described from charming to intimidating, from sweet to snobby. I guess I am all those things more or less but I still don't know who I am. I don't know my purpose. I can even identify myself in my career because I don't have one. I am the one who has had too many jobs to count. I am the one who didn't college. I am the mess up to put it mildly.
I am the with all the potential but it all went to waste.
Marisol
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