Hope

The one word I have never understood is HOPE. My mind can not comprehend it. I am hoping things will get better, what if they don't. I am hoping my girls will be successful, what if they suffer? I am hoping I will be happy, but I am not. 

Hearing the word hope makes me cringe because I don't see hope in my life and I don't think I ever have seen it. Although my parents loved us very much, I don't why my heart has always been filled with sadness. Now my sadness is from my own life, my own mistakes, and my own tragedies. 

Will I ever understand hope? Will I ever see it in my life?